Character Clichés
by Flying Muffins
Summary: Are you tired of the clichés that you read in fan fiction? Well here I will write down every single cliché so you can be aware of what lurks out there. It's kind of a almost humorless parody. Meant to gently make fun. No one or no story has will be used.


**Ok, I'm trying not to be mean here, but lots of people have ideas of what characters are like and the types of stories they're in. However I see the same kind of character make up everywhere, there's just no variety! And so I decided to write about the clich****és I see in many fan fictions. I hope you're not offended if you see a character in one or more of these ways and I hope you enjoy reading these! (I also hope you note I'm trying to make fun, but not in a mean way.) So I'll start with Luke, the man of many... clich****és. Warnings: This is my first written sword fight, it probably is horrible and my first ounce of romance (in later chapters) , with is probably worse.  
**

_**Luke**_

* * *

**Cliché number one: A total evil psychopath with no feelings what so ever (probably the closest one, but everyone has feelings.)**

Luke Castellan looked down at the whimpering satyr. Grover Underhill, weak as he was, wouldn't answer the questions.

"Answer me!" Luke demanded. "What is Percy Jackson's plan?"

"I won't tell you! I wouldn't even if I knew..." Grover said horsely.

"Then you are a fool and the Lord of Time will punish you."

"Then I will take the punishment." the satyr groaned.

"Your choice." Luke said grimly. "Kill him."

As the monsters approached the satyr he raised his eyes to meet Luke's, pleading silently.

"Have a good time in the underworld." the young man said devoid of humor. He didn't even blink before Grover Underhill vanished in a cloud of golden dust.

"And who is next?" he asked monotonously.

"Thalia, daughter of Zeussss." the snake woman to his left. Luke nodded.

"Bring her in."

And so they did, with great difficulty. She was kicking and swearing and punching and when she saw Luke her eyes narrowed.

"You piece of slime! You monster... you _traitor._" she spat. "You deserve to crawl in a hole and go to Tartarus! When Percy kills you I'll make sure Nico has you eating slugs for eternity!" Luke just stood there, not moving, not speaking. When she stopped her rant he opened his mouth.

"Maybe you're right, that's what I deserve. But what does it matter, Kronos will make me immortal, strong, our parents live and watch us die, our lives are like a second to them." he said quietly.

"Do you honestly believe that?" she begged him. "Kronos wants power, do you think he cares about Luke, son of Hermes?"

"Do not say that name in my presence!" he said coldly.

"I'll do want I want. I won't be a prisoner." she said and Luke knew she would never join him.

"Fine, then you'll die free." And he cut her ropes, drew his sword and offered her a weapon. She looked at him, suspicion in her blue eyes. Then she took a well made spear and he offered her her shield. He drew backbiter from it's sheath and motioned for her to attack him. He saw where she would attack first, his left leg and parried easily. But the Thalia he used to know never gave up and he had a feeling she hadn't changed much. In quick succession she attacked his right arm, a stab at his head and a slash at his side. On the last blow he felt the tip of the spear go in and quickly stepped to the side before it punctured anything vital. For a while he let her think she was winning, letting her keep attacking but parrying at the last second. This give the opponent the feeling that they have an advantage and don't notice that the defense is flawless. Then he began to attack. A fake to the left, a blow to the right that he let her block and he knew she thought she was in control but then Luke got tired of playing with her and, without any second thoughts, thrust the blade through her heart. Her eyes widened as she felt her life slipping away. Luke just stared at the dying daughter of Zeus, the girl he had once confided in. The one he had thought would follow him to the ends of the earth.

**Cliché Number Two: A misunderstood and/or abused (usually and) youth who has too many angsty feelings and is totally in love with Thalia (don't get me wrong, I don't mind Luke... but this cliché is so stupid). Oh, and usually he's really hot. And he's described, a lot. And hot guys are ALWAYS tan, am I right? Is there one fan girl who does go insane over tan guys? Like, besides me? I don't mind tan, but I like other colors as well. So let's pretend I'm a totaly fan girl right now as I write this, did I do a good job? No offense meant to fan girls! (I can be one too...)  
**

Luke sighed looking over the railing of the Princess Andromeda. The wind whipped at him and the sea foam didn't make it up this high. His blue eyes saw nothing but frothy gray water as is in the North Sea. He shivered and pulled his thin coat closer to him. Kronos wanted him to inquire about a group of Hydra living in the far North so the huge ship plowed on, tearing the thick ice like paper. His blue eyes took in everything around him. The salt water far below, the chunks of ice, the thin line of land far to the East. His blonde hair fell over his forehead, blocking only a bit of his vision.

"Sir." A half blood named Danny White, son of Hephaestus, said calling Luke out of his thoughts. "They have a centaur below deck, it's being uncooperative."

Luke paused a moment.

"Well then, make it cooperate." he said slowly. Danny blinked but nodded. "Of course sir."

Luke watched the younger boy (he'd be 17 in March) walk away as if he was think how to make the centaur cooperate. If Luke had really thought about what joining Kronos would be like, he probably wouldn't have joined. But he had so mad, mad at his father for not taking care of him when he was young and vulnerable and mad at Zeus for turning Thalia into a TREE where he _must _have been able to let her live. A _tree._ He angrily clenched his teeth and his tanned hands clutched the railing. _What have I done? _he thought. _Why did I do this? What will I do? _

**Cliché number three: Last battle redemption and reconciles with everyone (much to easy I might add, won't at least Percy hold a grudge?) Or of course he dies tragically. Read to find out.  
**

The flat edge of the sword came down on his head. He didn't feel the pain, only the constant pain that he felt as Kronos' soul pushed at his for complete control. He felt his hands grasp the scythe and swing it over his head. He saw Percy lift up his father's weapon, the mighty trident and raise it towards Luke's heart. Luke fought the Lord of Time for control of his eyes and gave Percy a look that said "I never wanted this." Percy seemed to understand but his trident didn't lower. Behind Percy there was a shimmer of air and Nico Di Angelo removed Hades' Helm of Darkness. Beside him Thalia glowed in the light of Zeus' Master Bolt. She looked at him half pitying and half anger her eyes seemed to say, "Sorry Luke, you brought this on yourself." Percy looked at the others and Nico gave a small nod. The youngest boy held up the Helm, Thalia and Percy pointed their weapons upwards and Luke faded away.

"I think he's coming to." Annabeth's voice whispered. Luke's eyes adjusted.

"Where am I?" he asked.

"Safe." Percy replied.

"Kronos is dead." Thalia added.

"Good, I am sorry." and his eyes closed slowly into a deep sleep. (You can decide if he's dead or not)

**Ok, done with Luke now, sorry I killed Grover and Thalia in the first, it was necessary. So please Read and Review! **


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